Are you having another baby!? That is the most asked question for me and for every mom in the world. But before we rush into a conclusion there are a few points that we have to look at.
A couple of weeks ago I read in a blog that if you are considering having another baby you should ask you that question when you're having a bad day, because is easy to want another baby when you're having a good time with your child; But when they mishave or have a bad day is another story.
Yes, thats a relly good question to ask you but, I think that there's a few other things that you have to consider too; So I end up with 4 points.
Watch the video en let me know what you think!
Since I became a mom a couple of friends have had their babies too and every time something happens with their childs they call/text me for advice, I really like to help people, I've always been the person who has an answear for everything, so I'm expected to recieve those kind of calls, but when they do it every day or at the middle of the night, I just want to kill them!
Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaning about the fact that they consider my short experience as a mom enough to put me first in their phone agendas (actually that's an honor) I'm complaning about the fact they expect me to resolve all of their problems with jus a text or a call.
The inspiration for this post was an extense text that I recieved recently from a really close friend with an extremelly desperation of solution of is problem.
So, I thought that before I start getting more of those ridiculous/un-necessary messages that I wanted to share with you the best advice that I can give you in the parenthood department.
No one knows what to expect when you have a baby, no matter how much you read* or learn on those 9 months of gestation, so don't expect to know everything by then. The secret is to learn by experience, which means don't be afraid to mess it up once...or twice.
People will judge you as a parent all the time but what really matters is what you and your partner thinks is best for your baby.
And last but not least: Chill the F*ck out! There's no need to freak out about everything. Sometimes what you think is bad it really doesn't; So please don't rush to the ER everytime he/she spits more than "usual" or has a weird condition your grandma/aunt/mother told you; take your time to see how everything evolves in a day and trust me if he/she has something really bad (that actually requires a trip to the ER) you will know.
At the last month of the pregnancy you probably (must) have everything ready for the baby and probably you may think that you're totally prepared to have this baby in your life (I've been there) but before you start thinking that you're going to be this wonder women mommy, let's just say that you have to expect the unexpected.
As my personal experience having a baby in my life has been really hard and must of the time I'm struggling with my mental health; I know it may sound like I'm overeacting but for those who are in the same place like me may relate. I'm not saying that being a mom is the worst thing in the world, is just that is a HARD life to live.
Puting aside the typical topics talked in the mom's circle (the lack of sleep, the lack of sex, the body changes and what not) there's more things hiding in the back of our fake smiles at the family reunions, parties and coffee with old friends. So let's talk about it:
-At first everything changes so quick, as much that when you're starting to get used to some kind of schedule the baby grows another month and everything starts all over again. AKA dark circles and zombie walk forever.
-You're going to change and I'm not talking about the things you do I'm talking about your own essence.
-Wheter you like it or not you're going to do things that were not in your whish list.
-Your house will look like a warehouse, just if you don't want to buy everything all over again beacuse the baby broke it.
-Everyone will have the need to tell you how to educate/take care of your baby, as soon as he/she is born (without asking)
-Work & Babies don't match but if you have someone to help you everything goes smooth, if don't please re-think all over again before trying and ending with 30lbs more and no hair.
-You will develope new skills for everything. Which is a good thing...most of the time.
-Have in mind that multitasking is easier when you don't have a baby.
-Eating in a table is out of the question and if you do, I'm so freaking jealous!
-You will do the laundry 3x more times than you used to. (And more if you use cloth diapers)
-Au revoir shopping hauls and hello formula. Even though I breastfeed my milk production wasn't enough so I had to complement with formula, like I said expect the unexpected.
-Sudlenly you're more worried about little things in life, specially for those things that you experienced when you were younger.
-You will become more consious about how you spend the pay check. AKA Saving will become your main goal.
-At some point you will need a break, so start having some backup plans for those days. (Get a babysitter or a family member to watch the baby and plan a spa day). And don't feel bad about it!
You may wonder the reason of the name of this post, but after a really serious blog -HERE- I thought it would be better if I posted something less tragic, like a funny story.
First, Let's talk about burguers; To start they're not my first choice when it comes to culinary delights and second if I want to eat some, I don't buy them, I make them at home (is cheaper & healthier), so in perspective it was really weird of me to ask (beg) my husband for a regular McDonalds burguer at the end of my pregnancy. This was the only thing I was craving at this point, but for some reason every time I wanted to eat one I couldn't buy it (The store was closed, I didn't have a car to drive there, I was to tired to go, etc) It seem like forver, until one day my hubby came early from work and took me to McDonalds drive thru and bouhgt me one single burguer, no fries, no soda just my little "precious" burguer. Finally it was on my hands! It was a achievement but just when I arrived home I felt something runing down my legs. "My water just broke!" I thought. I looked down and there was water. I just stood there with my burguer in one hand and my hearth in the other. My hubby looked at me and I said: "Oh no! My water just broke! Now I can't eat my burguer!" (You're not supposed to eat something during labor) "Are you sure?" He asked me but I wasn't sure of it because there wasn't enough water coming out. "Go ahead and eat the burguer if you want" I told him in a playful way
I rushed upstairs and called my OB to find out it was just pee (LOL) It only took me 1min but when I went down to kitchen the burguer was GONE!!! I was really mad/sad with my husband because I waited so long for this and we couldn't go buy one more at that time; He promissed me to buy me another one the next day.
The next day at 7pm he arrived at home as he promissed with my new brand burguer to only find out I was in labor and this time was for real!
In conclusion, I NEVER HAD MY BURGUER! Oh well, at least I got a pretty funny story to tell, huh?
So now, Can I have my burguer, please?
Theres one thing I haven't told anyone yet (besides my family and a couple of close friends) let's just say that I experience the most weird & frightening event in my life after I gave birth to Alina.
The epidural was fading away and I was eating well; Everything seemed to be ok when a nurse came to the room and told me that I was allowed to take a shower if I wanted to and so I did, but not after I took a peek of my little angel sleeping. My mom took a few pictures of us while I was standing, I was a little bit sore and dizzy but nothing that I couldn't handle so I thought it was ok. I hurry to the shower because I was getting exhausted and my husband helped me, I couldn't sat down because I was half naked and the bathroom seemed dirty (to me). We were trying to get the hot water to come down but nothing happened, we were there like 5 minutes only buy I was getting tired and tired, so my husband went to get a nurse to help us with it, so he left me there standing, I never told him I was feeling dizzy and exhausted.
I was waiting there by myself when I suddenly felt a warm feeling inside of me and I couldn't breath well, I was about to sit down when this urge to lay down came to me, I was about to faint! I screamed for help and the last thing I remember it was my mom coming to the bathroom. I couldn't do anything, it was really scary and even when I remember the sensation of vulnerability I kind of freak out. I have fainted before (when I was 15) but this was different in a really horrible way.
My mom and husband said to me that my eyes rolled out and my mouth was purpple and it was really scary, they thought I was dead (My hearthbeat was barely there) On the other side I wasn't aware of anything, I actually was having a "blast" there, I was relaxed and warm; A soft light was caressing my face. For a minute I was in heaven; Until I remembered that that kind of feeling wasn't normal to me (such an emo LOL) So I reacted to the reality and came back; Slowly I started to hear everyone talk.
I was in my trolley and I could see everyone above me but I couldn't move or talk, I wanted to tell so bad that I was ok but I couldn't, until my mouth open and a simple (and stupid) "hello" came out.
After I saw everyone worried and crying (for some reason) I felt guilty, I didn't want to make them feel that way.
This may sound like a lot of drama or you may have a worst story but this is the most scary thing that ever happened to me and the reason I didn't told you before, is that scares me to think that that day I could have gone and left my baby without a mom.
I uploaded this video a month ago and after edit it I saw that theres a couple of things I missed and I thought it'd be great if I drafted a blog with a different point of view (more technical and more personal)
It's been 8 months since I had my baby but all the memories are as fresh as it happened yesterday!
It's true when people tells you that you can tell that you're going to labor a week before, you start to see a lot of physical and emotional changes in yourself and its kind of hard to expalin if you haven't been pregnant; Most of the energy, happines and what not are gone and you start feeling sore all the time. For me it wans't fun anymore (the last two weeks of my pregnancy) and all I wanted to do was to watch movies and eat all day.
My first symphtom of labor was kind of unexpected and I didn't knew it could happen (Even though I read a lot of books about labor and delivery during my pregnancy) One night I was having a really bad stomachache (I thought it was related with a chronical disease I suffer and not with labor) I took my medicines and it didn't go away, so called my OB and he told me to go to the hospital so he could check me out; One hour later he told me that I was 1cm dialated and the stomachache was part of early labor symphtoms but this could happen 1 week before real labor, So I was sent back home.
Later that day I lost my mucus plug and so the labor begun! One week of irregular contractions, some of them were strong, some of them were soft, sometimes they were short, sometimes they lasted longer than expected and it was unconfortable but not painful at all.
The day before I went to real labor I was feeling the same way I felt one week before but then again I never thought it was related with labor so I took my medicine and went with my family to the mall. A few hours later of walking and shopping I started to feel a little bit cramped so we went home; I was having the same back cramps you get with your period but this ones were stronger (I asked to be massaged a few times) also I was having a lot of pressure "down there". At 7pm my husband came from work and thats when I knew I was in real labor because at this time I was having contractions too and they were really strong.
For some reason the contractions stopped the next couple of hours but at 10pm they started all over again; My mom and I started to count and they lasted 1min every 5min; We called my OB and he went to check me out...I was 3cm!
I couldn't go to the hospital until I was 5 or 6 cm, So we had to wait.
At this point I was in real pain and I started to cry because I was anxious and scared but happy at the same time! I almost gave up to my natural birth but my mom reminded me that I really wanted to have a natural partum so I men up and did my breathing exercises until I fell asleep. I have no idea how I could fell asleep at that time but I DID! I remember havig contractions in my sleep but I just breath through them and thats it, like it was nothing!
4 hours later I woke up and the contractions started to be more painful to the extent that I couldn't do anything to cope with them. We filled the tub with warm water and I took a shower but I was literally screaming (through a clean towel) I puked and had diarrhea (YES! That can happen and you have to deal with it) It was time for me to go to the hospital.
The contractions were extremely painful because I was 6cm already; I remember the pain but I also remember the joy and the excitement of the waiting of my baby girl; We were crying and even laughing every time we could.
At the moment I arrived to the hospital I recieved the epidural and a dosage of pitosin, they also broke my water (because it never broke by itself) Finally the pain was gone and seriously was the best thing I could ever had! (After that I never felt any pain at all)
An hour later of pictures, jokes, laughs and what not my OB came in and checked me out...I was 8cm! It was really fast and they thought they stopped my labor with the epidural (because I had no pain at all) but the true was that my baby was almost here!
The doctor told me to do a couple of pushes and 10min later he said:STOP! We rushed to the delivery room (even my husband was literally changing his clothes through the hallway) because we had no time!
They told me not to push but at this point I couldn't help it...I was pushing! We were going down the elevator and I remember having this peace in me and I felt really happy that made everything so worth it.
In the delivery room was my OB, the anestesiologyst, my husband and a nurse (the pediatrician came in later) Everyone was ready so I started to push...with the first two pushes the head came out (and my doctor helped me to stand to see a little bit) I pushed two more times and she was out!
Her crying was really cute and soft, all I wanted to do was to see her and have her in my arms but first the pediatrician check her out and everything was fine. They put her in my arms and we fell in love with her right away!
In the meantime I was expelling the placenta and getting stiched (I had an ephysiotomy) but I never felt anything because I was busy watching my sweet little monkey!
We named her ALINA and we couldn't be more happy!
Alina Cantero Carrillo
Born in July 3, 2013
3.300kg
49cm
NEXT BLOG: Delivery Recovery and My Near Death Experience
One of the good thing about pregnancy (besides having a baby) is that you get to enjoy this amazing party...I've always loved baby showers because they're really fun! You get to be crazy playing fun games and wining beautiful presents.
Mine was french tea brunch themed and couldn't be more perfect! It took place in the most beautiful garden 40 mins away from the city (so, no dirty noises yohoo!) It all started at 10 a.m with a bar of homemade sweets and bakery accompanied with a cup of tea or coffee, the typical chit chat and girly vanities. Then at 12 p.m the eating table was seated and the party begun.
There were a lot of funny games at the party, my favorite was "Guess the baby's food game";
My amazing hubby found some gross baby food for the game and at the end of the day he end up playing too because everyone told him to...the funny part was that he didn't even recognize what he bought LOL
The other game that I thought it was really cool was "What's in your purse?" there's a list of things you may have in your purse, you have to check them out if you have them, then count the points marked for every item and the person with more points WINS!! The funny part is that some of the items are unusual and others are embarrassing and you have to take them out in order to count your points.
It took us two days to put up everything for that day but it was oh soo worth it!!
(all natural flowers centerpieces and a jar of homemade macarons for the sweets bar)
(My beautiful mommy welcoming all the guests to the party)
( The Guess the baby's food game contestants)
(He bought chicken and noodles, squash, beef and veggies and carrots and peas but surprisingly the worst one was bananas)
(My hubby playing the game; you can notice his puke face LOL)
(It was funny to watch them drinking from a baby bottle)
(Some of the funny things you could have in your purse was a condoms, panties, maxi pads or food)
(They were trying too hard to win LOL)
Everyone got a beautiful present from the party even if they didn't win. Than you all for coming and having a good time with me and my family.
